Possibly a sensitive and triggering topic, but I’m going to ponder about cheating in a relationship.
*Disclaimer* I am not shaming those that stay with their significant others whatsoever. I do not know the context of your relationship and I have not room to judge. This is just another topic that reflects my perspective.
I’m curious to know how far your trust for your significant other, or even loved one extends? Last weekend, whenever I was with my friends, we had a few different topics of conversation. My engaged friend said that she can’t fully trust her fiancé yet.
What? Red Flag Alert
I found out that he has cheated on her not once, but twice! They’ve been together for 3[?] plus years and are planning their wedding for the summer.
Another friend of mine has been married currently for 2 years; she and her husband started dating during her 8th grade year; so, about 8 years I think? Evidently he cheated on her with another woman twice his age at his work – multiple times!
I also listen to the Jana Kramer podcast, Whine Down; she gets personal about her husband’s infidelity and intimacy issues. What’s a little odd is how he cheated on her with someone else – yet, he couldn’t be intimate with Jana. It’s a confusing thing that I won’t delve into since that’s an interesting topic altogether from his statement about it.
I mean, hearing these stories make me uneasy with the thought of marriage; but I’ve realized long before that I shouldn’t base my relationship on someone else’s. I’ve learned that lesson too – prior to even dating Stephen!
I think what gets me is how I’m such a huge advocate of love; whenever there’s a situation like this in a relationship of any kind, it just breaks my heart for those that have been betrayed.
I’d never imagine cheating, or being cheated on by someone. Since I’ve never been in that position [knock on wood!] I suppose I can’t really judge from that perspective.
From my perspective, I know that I will always state how I disapprove immensely about the concept of cheating. Never is there a valid reason to cheat on someone you love.
The “excuse” I hate the most is, “S/He never gave me the attention I needed.” Is that suppose to justify the action of cheating on your spouse!?
Gosh, I hope not.
I think that’s another brilliant moment where communication would be needed and fix that a little better than resulting to seek someone else’s affection.
It’s probably not that easy, huh? I don’t know, but I think it’s easier than cheating.
Just to consider further, those moments of “weakness” will emotionally and mentally destroy your significant other long after the moments have come clean – if those even fess up about the act. Everything about trust is completely broken.
Redemption possibly for the relationship?
Then again, I try to think about the victim in the relationship and realize that that person more than likely doesn’t want to give up on the significant other. I’m somewhat torn between the will and want to fight in order to keep the marriage/relationship.
Yet, there is also another person that won’t treat you as bad as the last person did. I don’t mean to just throw in the towel over a small obstacle; cheating is a way higher obstacle so it definitely needs to be considered more severely.
The aftermath, I suppose it does bring couples closer together [in a twisted sense], but from what I’ve seen from my friends, they have gotten closer with their significant others.
Still, there will be a hint of anxiety and triggering moments throughout life – I’d imagine. I mean, I’m still haunted by triggering moments that I’m still not over.
This topic alone just causes me to seethe with rage – unnecessary rage, actually! Haha, I guess I have a hint of sass about it within the post; but I am curious to know what others say about cheating and the mindset of both the cheater and the other person in the relationship. I’ll cut it a little shorter and leave it at that; I could probably go on a little longer about it, but who needs more information of how I feel about the subject!? Just kidding, I appreciate those that have read and followed my blog!
Have a wonderful night and rest of the week! 🙂
Ok, tough subject because there may be bigger relationship problems than the cheating involved. My perspective is that 2 people in love can have many different levels of love and deep connection and marriage. We all want the deepest, best friends, soulmate, mentally and physically intimate relationship with our partners. But that takes trust. There’s no varying degree of trust , you either have it or you don’t. You know inside what your personal answer to that is. Depending on this answer is the type of relationship you’re gonna have . And it might be 2 different answers in one relationship. A trusting wife may exist in her perfect world, but she may have a untrusting husband who lives in a different view of the relationship. While we think these thing should come naturally, they need communication between partners . You should be able to tell each other the truth about trust issues and why . It may easily solve problems before they arise. I know it sounds easy but I know how some people can’t talk about their needs or feelings. But this is critical because we are changing and growing every moment and to avoid outgrowing each other, you need to stay in touch with each other on the deepest levels. Cheating, drinking, gambling etc are all reactions that an insecure person can make. Keep each other secure. Tell them they’re important every day, show them. Make sure there is no time or room for insecurity to take hold. I kinda ran all over with that, I hope it was coherent 😂😂
Oh wow, thank you so much for your response! I hadn’t consider the perspective about the two different answers in one relationship – and that shows when there are two worlds that somehow are colliding as one. It’s just an interesting, yet sensitive topic for people and it’s definitely something that the two people must talk about. Communication is a huge factor in relationships and the root of them. It’s a huge focal point that’s always overlooked. Crazy to think about the outgoing one another but that’s definitely something I’ve taken into consideration after each relationship! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! 🙂
Yes, we did ! I hope your’s was memorable ❤
I had a boyfriend throughout pretty much all of high school and I cheated on him constantly. When men wanted to be with me after our relationship I’d just straight up say “no you don’t, I’ll cheat on you” and I would.
When I met my boyfriend… I knew in my heart I would never do that to him. Something in me snapped and changed. Cheaters will always be cheaters until they’re not. I would never ever forgive someone for cheating on me because I know first-hand that if I can get away with it the first time… why not keep doing it? They will!
Thank you for responding! I love your response. Also, I hope my post didn’t come across as attacking or malicious in any way! I don’t believe the saying of cheaters will always cheat, but I do believe there’s a moment where someone will change and realize it for that special person. Thank you again for the response and your voice in the matter; I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and Black Friday! 🙂
Oh no! Your post was very gentle and sweet on the matter. <3 I just think if someone is cheating, then the person they are cheating on is not really for them, you know?
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a non-hectic Black Friday, Stephanie! <3