What I’ve Learned During My First Year of Marriage

I’m not sure how time seems to fly by, but it does each year as I’m getting older. Yesterday was our one year wedding anniversary[!!] and let me tell you, I’ve learned so many things already and it’s just begun. Now, these include some things that I knew, but I’m finally learning and experiencing them, which takes things in a whole different perspective.

I’ll post an anniversary type post later on, but I felt like this was a special post to make today.

I know there will be so much more to learn, but here are a few things that I’ve learned since we exchanged our wedding vows. These are in no particular order and I hope you find them a little humorous.

Living Together is a Huge Adjustment

Stephen and I didn’t live together or stay the night with each other before we were married so naturally, I wouldn’t know about his habits and what he did whenever I wasn’t around. After a year, there are some habits that absolutely annoy or gross me out and also ones that I appreciate.

I’ll save him the embarrassment of mentioning the irritating and gross habits and also spare you all from reading it, but I do appreciate his initiatives to help around the apartment. Cleaning is one thing that I fail to to do a routine job of, but I so, so appreciate how he cleans up after himself [and the bathroom when I ask nicely]. He’s also thoughtful and washes the dishes for me from time to time and acknowledging other tasks that need to be done.

He did mention to me how looking back, it was a special moment for us to wait until we were married. So, that was a sweet thing for him to be understanding about.

Stephen’s Confusion of the Ryans

I don’t even remember what movie he was wanting to watch, [either Bladerunner 2049, Pokémon Detective Pikachu, or I was rambling on about The Notebook] but it cracked me up when he mentioned something about Ryan Reynolds being in The Notebook. [That’s probably wrong, and I’m sure he’ll correct me when we remember the scenario.]

I think he knew the differences between them, but not the distinction of their last names or which movies each actor starred in.

He watched Bladerunner 2049 a few weeks ago, and I could see a tiny, very minuscule, resemblance in one particular scene where Gosling may have resembled Reynolds, but Reynolds is a little more goofy looking to me. Maybe I just can’t get over my love for Noah Calhoun though.

His Time Vs. My Time on Getting Stuff Done

I’m one of those that wants to get something done ASAP, no time to waste. Whereas, he’s one to delay and do something hours or days after I point something out. It bugs me to have the trash just pile up and junk fall out of it. Perhaps that was a personal annoyance from childhood that carried over to marriage, but it kills me whenever the trash overflows. He’s not bad about this in particular, but I’m usually the one to get the trash out of the bin before it gets to that point or he will whenever I suggest it’s time to take it out.

One circumstance, for example, is whenever he’s finished with his empty bottle of body wash, he’ll leave it in the shower for a week or so. At the same time, he’ll have the new bottle in the shower [because I replace it for him whenever his current bottle is low] along with the empty bottle. Now, that one doesn’t bother me as much, but what’s the use of it being there if it’s completely empty!?

Also just noticing how we’re wired differently is when it comes to paying bills. He tends to pay them the day they’re due and that just stresses me out. I have to pay whatever bill at least a three days to a week before it’s due. I was always like that in school when turning in assignments too.

Choosing What to Make For Dinner Stresses Me Out

I can’t imagine having to prepare meals for a family because I worry over what to cook just the two of us for dinner! I would totally be content with ramen and any other noodles consecutively, but I want to make a bigger effort and intention when I’m cooking dinner for us both, you know?

I try to make a meal that we’ll both like and throw in some new recipes to try, but I take a gamble on whether or not he’ll like it. So now, I’ve catered my recipe searches to dishes that I’m pretty confident that he’ll eat.

I’m not as stressed as I used to be, but I would really overthink what to make us in the first few months. It’s getting easier now with all the recipes we’ve accumulated.

Patience, Communication, and Love Are Key

Just like any relationship, these are essentials and constants. Sure, there’s always the option to leave in relationship, but to make a marriage or stable relationship work, these are non-negotiable. Even on the days that I’m upset or frustrated, Stephen’s the laid back, patient one that continues to show me love in his own way.

I’m super emotional, so I tend to get upset over a lot of minor things and whatever is bothering me at the moment. I’m thankful that he gives me space to just stay quiet and sort things out myself, but I do appreciate his efforts to try to help resolve my fretting.

Our Different Love Languages

I think we both tend to not communicate well, or often, about the difficult stuff, but that’s an everyday improvement that we’ll have to work on. Our love languages are a different. When I’ve always been one for words of affirmation and acts of service, I think his is more of physical touch.

We’re still trying to show one another love with our different languages, but it has definitely been a season of growth.

I Thrive on Worthwhile Conversation Content

I’m a person that feels like we have to have meaningful conversation about 90% of the time. I know that’s unrealistic, but I always love those types of conversations that keep us learning something new about one another. I was never one for small talk whenever I was dating, but apparently it’s frowned upon to ask the deep questions early on during dates? I’ve saved that topic for another time to share.

Whenever a thought pops up, I’ll ask him something random — such as what did you do as a child? or What’s a funny story that’s happened to you?

Just those little tidbits that I don’t know about him to get the brain spinning and leading to another conversational topic is what I try to do sometimes. Silence isn’t a bad thing, not at all. It’s awesome to be able to just be in the moment with someone and not talk, but obviously you need more substance than that.

These aren’t the only things I’ve learned of course, but just a few things within 365 days of living life with Stephen.

• What are some things you learned about your significant other during the first year of marriage or when you moved in together?
• Did you realize some habits that you should improve on?
• Do you have any tips to pass along?

Have a lovely start of the week and show some love to your significant other! ♡