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Stephanie Ying Hawthorne

Stephanie Hawthorne

Stephanie Hawthorne

I adore the night time; when the rest of the world is asleep, I chat with the moon.

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In love and war[?], but not in life. 

A person in my family likes to apply fairness in the world for her children. I know she’s trying to give her children more hope than harm in the world, but believing that life is far will only harm them in their futures. 

Living life with the mindset of life is fair creates a sort of entitlement that no one has. Life happens. Unfairness is prevalent in everyone’s life. No amount of power can tip fairness in our favor; if it could, the scales would be more than skewed to appease everyone. 

I’m just 23 and I say life isn’t fair for things in my first world life. How selfish is that of me sometimes? Yes, there are always going to be other people that are worse off than me, but when something tragic does happen to me, I can say when something isn’t fair – to certain degrees and extremes, of course. 

I would hope we wouldn’t have the audacity to say that our life isn’t fair when we don’t get the latest technology, or the certain brand of clothes that are way over priced. I’m not talking about the materialistic things being fair. I hardly see that as a tragedy. 

I’m talking about when concrete tragedies happen. 

When thousands of lives were affected during 9/11, when a loved one close to us dies, or decides that we aren’t meant to be in their lives in the future – that one cuts a little deeper. 

Picture this situation, the one I’m trying to talk about in this post:

A teenage boy has a bad home life. His dad walked out on him as a newborn, his mom is in a halfway house somewhere in middle state due to drug addiction, forced to be raised by a wonderful grandmother that’s considered his own mother, someone that fought for him and put him first. 16 and living with a friend’s family, enacting as his own blood. 

Another teenage boy with a well knitted family, had a tough time in school [only because he refuses to pay attention in classes]. His parents try to umbrella him from his mistakes in society by getting him out of trouble. Wants and gets the latest brands of clothes and technology. 16 and still being doted on. 

At one time, or even currently, these two were living under the same roof. 

My now deceased high school principal was the kind man that made it his own responsibility to take in a less fortunate student. The principal helped a guy in my grade, and now the first boy listed above. 

I’m only hearing bits and pieces from second hand, so I’m sure there’s a lot that I don’t know, and maybe some things are misconstrued. 

The one ridiculous occurrence I heard about was how the principal bought the first boy AirPods, along with taking care of him to help out his grandmother. These are expensive and a material item, yes, but the man was simply trying to help this kid have a greater chance once high school is over. 

Boy two’s mom threw a fit about the gift because her own kid, the one with other high tech products and an abundance of clothing brands, didn’t have AirPods. It was because a misfortunate kid got something expensive while her son didn’t receive the same treatment from the principal.

*I also want to mention that the first boy’s mom would break into his car to support her drug use, causing the boy needing to park his car at a friend’s house so she couldn’t get to it. 

Now, learning that fact just makes me livid. It speaks volumes about that woman to have to stoop so low of a point in her life to try to steal from her own child. 

It breaks my heart even more because other kids have this type of home life, without a choice, they are a part of a broken family that they couldn’t control. It starts getting me to think about the boy that wanted to be adopted that I talked briefly about in my adoption post. 

Above all, it makes me feel so grateful to have a wonderful family, without asking for it; it’s something to never take for granted. 

Biggest thing I keep in mind is that no, life is not fair, and why should it be sometimes? Hopefully we aren’t living a complete train wreck, but there’s so much to develop in life as a person is navigating their own. Having everything handed to us may seem easier, but it doesn’t fulfill us as people, developing a true character. 

It’s frustrating, to say the least and simplest, but that is life. I’m still figuring things out, creating my own fairness in life by putting the work into it. Although I believe I should be doing so much more, I’m still being gentle with a strong determination to get to where I hope to be someday. 

Just another food for thought for the day, I hope everyone else has had a great day today!

5 comments on “All is fair.

  1. wchimesjim says:

    Great topic. I speak from an older generation. I grew up with 5 siblings and lots of stuff wasn’t fair in our immature minds . But I did learn early that if I wanted something so badly, I would have to earn it. My paper route at age 13 earned me my bicycle, my job at McDonalds at 16 let me save for a beat up car. My parents would help us 50% for truly important things , but with 5 kids and one income, it wasn’t easy. I was taught responsibility and hard work is always the way to go. I can rely on myself . I tried to also do that with my daughter, and she has also grown up responsible. But, no doubt ,this world is crazy now. Kids raise themselves wi5 addicted and irresponsible parents . And other parents are so busy trying to be the cool parent or the best friend to their kids, that no morals or etiquette is ever taught. I see it everyday too. These people will not survive a real tragedy, they are having their hands held all through their lives. Yes, there is real unfairness in this world, like my young friend who was a mother to 3 who was killed by a falling tree while working . Not someone who doesn’t have the latest iPhone. Life has a way of making or breaking you, and if you aren’t packing the tools you need ( responsibility, compassion, ambition and kindness etc) you can easily end up in the streets. The only job a parent has is to give these tools to their kids. Great post, great topic and I agree with your views 100% ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow, thanks for sharing some parts of your life! I do believe it’s necessary to be able to humble yourself and actually work toward your own achievement and goal,, and it’s great that those kinds of parents exist to help nurture their kids and try to raise them to be aware of how life is, but that there’s certainly no handouts.

      I’m sorry about your friend, it hurts my heart to hear stories like that! It does seem that my friends’ parents and some younger generations are completely changing the way parenting is, I suppose to go along with worldly trends, but I do hope that those packing tools, as you mentioned, will be the foundation of raising the next generations.

      It seems like some of the tools have been lost or skewed, but hoping for the better!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hunida says:

    I can’t believe boy two’s mom even said anything. What is wrong with her??


    1. I KNOW! It’s definitely caused some friction in my family with this situation… Maybe they’ll all learn someday before something major happens and they have to deal with graver consequences.
      Thanks for reading once again! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hunida says:

        We can only hope!!


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