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Stephanie Ying Hawthorne

Stephanie Hawthorne

Stephanie Hawthorne

I adore the night time; when the rest of the world is asleep, I chat with the moon.

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what i ponder.

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It’s a question that will always pop in our minds during tragedies.

Why do bad things happen to good people? 

I’m not going to pretend to know THE answer, because it doesn’t really exist, but I will shed light on my opinion of it. 

I won’t say that it’s fair that bad things happen to good people, because it’s definitely not. I do think it’s a matter of trusting God– or if you’re not religious, trusting in some great power. Despite the bad events that happen to me, I know I’ve become a stronger person after I’ve dealt with the situation in a mature manner. 

When something bad and tragic happens, it brings out a bad and bitter side of myself. The heart begins to harden as a way to protect itself in defense. It’s usually said that we don’t know what’s happening during the situation, but afterwards, the bigger picture is put together to make sense. 

When things don’t go our way, we tend to get angry and resilient on the situation since it’s not panning out how we want it to go. I’m still angry and bitter on how some things have ended, but it’s a process, right? In the bigger picture — the now, I’m experiencing a greater future than I first imagined. 

I won’t dilute the severity or permanence of death, it is a tragic event that we all unfortunately experience with loved ones. When a loved one dies, a part of us dies with the person. The natural thing to do is grieve; in doing so, grieving is exposed through different shades and forms that don’t appear like grieving, but are.

Maybe grieving for some is going out and “having a good time” as vague, but detailed, as everyone defines this saying. Or, they could be like me and wrestle with countless thoughts and spew words on page. Either way, there comes the end – the place where we all realize the situation we’ve been avoiding or trying to cope with.

The other side— the living, the survivors, the triumphant ones, they tell their stories in a different way after grieving and handling their situations. They create inspiration and set as proof for the rest of the world that there can be something good created from something bad. 

A handful of people I reference, for example, are from Dancing with the Stars. It’s more than a show about dancers and celebrities. Viewers get a small insight of the celebrity that is paired with the professional dancer. The show has a week called, “Most Memorable Year,” or something similar to that. This is where the stars reveal parts of their lives that have impacted them and also helped develop them into the person they are now. 

There are some stories that have brought tears to my eyes and I immediately begin to wonder why I was so upset over a miniscule event when there’s someone else that is worth off. Just like that, the statement causes me to shift my outlook. It’s when the show actually introduces us to people that some might have not heard of, but reveal some people that became more than their trauma or event.

I have a few in mine, ones that I hadn’t heard of before the show, but I admire them greatly.

Noah Galloway was a soldier that lost his left arm above the elbow, and left leg below his knee. I think part of his strength came from the example set by his father. When Noah was younger, his father had an accident and lost his hand. Rather than not working and letting his disability control his life, his father worked construction. 

Amy Purdy is many of things and I loved watching her story unfold during the show. At 19, she contracted neisseria meningitidis, a form of bacterial meningitis. This disease caused her to have both of her legs amputated below the knee, along with a few organs needing to be removed in order for her to get well again. Evidently, the doctors estimated her at a 2% chance of survival. 

She is 39 currently. That’s not only inspiring to those with paraplegia disabilities, but everyone else to show how she overcame her situation. 

These two people are not their disabilities. They are so much more than what their conditions tried to restrict them from. The difference is, these people have an amount of strength needed to overcome their circumstance and create their own testimony. 

It makes me brim with happiness how people like Galloway and Purdy dealt with their loss to create a larger gain for the rest of the world to know that there is an upside to an unfair situation.

I could probably spend even more time on this, but I think the most important aspect of bad things happening to good, is that initially in the end, we have a choice that can create something great from a terrible circumstance.

Yes, a lot of things are painful and they break us. In the midst of the brokenness and hurt, we learn to grow and develop as a new version of ourselves. 

I gained strength, compassion, and a little more understanding of this world that we’re all trying to live in. In pain, I’ve managed to create art.

We are all trying to manage our pain and loss in different ways. Pain can create more pain; yet, it also can create something beautiful in the end as it’s finally developed. 

Despite the serious subject for my post, I hope everyone else has a great day and that you find inspiration and strength in your own life!

2 comments on “The Greater picture.

  1. wchimesjim says:

    Wow, this is so awesome, I can’t think of anything to add ! Well said, Stephanie , you are wise beyond your years ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re too sweet, thank you so much for your kind comment! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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