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Stephanie Ying Hawthorne

Stephanie

Stephanie

I adore the night time; when the rest of the world is asleep, I chat with the moon. Blogging about life and its lessons, with an occasional glimpse of things I love. ❀

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what i ponder.

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Usually, I start working my mind again after watching romance movies and series. The current series that sparked some of these ideas is from The Bachelorette. It recently ended, but ideas are still flowing!

The bachelorette always says how compartmentalizing each relationship is important in order to get to know each contestant fairly.

How can you do that!?

I feel as if connecting with one person, I’ve already given a part of myself after a conversation. Feelings grow and I’m instantly committed to giving only one person the attention.

I know that the bachelorette is basically dating multiple people at the same time for the show, but still! It must be difficult to compartmentalize each relationship in order to find which one is the strongest among the 25 or so contestants.

Side note: It’s a little interesting how that’s allowed on national television and most seem okay[?] with it.

The hometown dates are intimate moments where some men haven’t brought a girl to meet their family in years, if ever! It’s crazy to think how someone might do this on camera for the nation to see.

I do like how the bachelorette gets to see different perspectives of the same person she’s starting to fall in love with. More often than not, they align with the genuine person that she’s gotten to know throughout the season.

Bachelor Breakups

What kills me is after the season. When she must chose the one relationship she feels most strongly about. That means 3 different heartbreaks she has to experience within a short span of time! That nearly kills a person to experience one; how does that happen with 3 at once!? It’s definitely not a healthy process going through roller coasters of emotions for different people.

Another concept that I’ve always wondered about are the possibilities with each person. Would the runner up and the bachelorette have lasted if it weren’t for the one that she chooses during the finale? Or what about the third guy, would they have been a suitable couple if it weren’t for the other 2 remaining men?

It’s hard to imagine how the final three relationships would go if it weren’t for the other. Would the bachelorette have been equally happy if she met guy #1 during a party, or fall for the guy #2 even harder during an event hosted by mutual connections? We won’t ever know these answers for the show, or real life with those that we have encountered.

I wondered this possibility about my personal life whenever I was single. What if I were adopted by a family from elsewhere? Do I end up with someone from across the country or possibly whenever I’m traveling to a new city? It’s endless to speculate these possibilities; to think how suitable I could be to someone, given the location. I mean, surely out of all the people in each state, we could’ve been compatibly fit for at least one person, right!?

Maybe.

I don’t know how that works but I was always fascinated with that concept. If it weren’t for the location now, I wouldn’t have ended up with my fiancé — and that’s unbelievable to think about sometimes. I suppose finding “The One” is contributed heavily due to location and time in life.

I don’t wish for another life, whatsoever, but I always like to speculate the “what-ifs.”

If I met Stephen in high school, life would have probably been extremely different. Would we have even acknowledged one another in high school? I was hung up on someone all throughout high school, but would that have changed if I met Stephen? Who would I be if I met him prior to all my other relational experiences?

Maybe it wouldn’t have worked as well since we were different people prior to these relationships we experienced before meeting one another. As for now, I should give a huge thanks to God for orchestrating life and how it’s panning out now!

It was extremely frustrating after each time, but I realize how well things are looking up for me. Life is rough and bumpy, but the people that I love are making it easier to survive. I’m grateful for it all.

I’ve been slacking a lot while maintaining this blog, but I hope to catch up within the next week and get back on track.

Have a happy Friday, everyone!

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3 comments on “So Many “What Ifs.”

  1. wchimesjim says:

    This is fascinating stuff and I often also wonder about the what if’s. My wife is from the Philippines and was living in Toronto when I met her online. Had I been born earlier , before the Internet, we never would have met. I think life is ever changing and many suitable partners appear, but it’s up to us to form the deep connections to make love last. And sometimes we can outgrow the relationship , the love may still survive, but the soul needs more. Sad , but true. ( me ) But I never want someone giving me 25 choices and told to pick one. I would probably love them all 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry I never replied! I don’t even remember seeing this comment, and I must have overlooked it. My apologies!! That’s such a cool story! I’m always curious to see how people meet one another :). I certainly agree with you, as always, the deep connection definitely has to be there to form a special bond. The show is pretty overwhelming, so I’m sure it drives the contestants crazy! Hope your day is filled with lots of love! 🙂

      Like

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