There are some nights where my brain won’t let me sleep. I log off of all my electronics, turn off my reading lamp, or put my book back on the shelf. Despite my body winding down for the night, my brain seems to have a different agenda. Instead of drifting off to sleep and dreaming about who knows what, my brain decides this is the best time for thinking.
It’s right the majority of the time. I’ve stayed up past 4 am writing material that is better than what I’ve written during the day time. I remember discovering a post on Tumblr whenever it was close to midnight in my college dorm. My roommate was close to sleeping, but as soon as I saw the post – it was about the galaxy and solar system, I immediately began to write a poem that I still value as one of my best.
These are fortunate times. Others, I let the worldly concepts tear me down when i don’t feel as adequate as someone I know and love. I begin to dissect my own thought process and sometimes, manage to bring myself back down with a more confident attitude. I also reminisce a lot about the past, but who doesn’t?
I carry regrets. In these regrets, are many lessons and memories with people that I love. I imagine different outcomes, conversations, or actions I would have taken to change the way things have turned out. It’s useless circling, but it keeps the spark within me alive.
There’s something about this time; it fuels me to stay awake and be more motivated and productive. What do I do? I write until sleep uses all its power to win me over for the remaining hours until the sun rises. Therefore, here is where it has led me.
Our paths may cross, slim to none, but we are all alike in some ways and values.
Until next time,